--insert many trigger warnings--

My intent this day was to be mature and philosophical and professional, and I was but within the last hour my grief started ripping my guts right along with my heart...

Annual poker game last night. We were short one player.
Charles Lee, very fondly called Charley (Char-Lee in honor of his Southern accent)
Micky waited to tell the rest of us so our holiday wouldn't be ruined...Charley killed himself.
Ya don't survive a well-placed shot in the head, but I suppose you remembered enough medical training to know just the right spot
so ya wouldn't be a forgotten vegetable in a VA hellhole

Charley, RIP
Thank you for holding my babies and making them laugh. They adored you...and still ask about you.

Thank you for holding me while I cried then and through the years.
Remember my first time?
Rockets red glare, my butt. It scared the pee out of me, and it didn't help that you landed on top of me...I never did believe it was to protect me...got yourself a freebie didn't you? Not really but we got a lot of mileage out of the jokes, didn't we?
It's ok; I was shaking so hard I don't know why ya didn't just roll right off me. Thanks my brother for not letting them know I was such a CS for the first few weeks...

You worked harder than most of us. Enlisted techs got no respect from anyone but us...
Be in the OR for 24-36 hours or longer and you still had to do the crappy Mickey Mouse stuff. 'Member when ya fell asleep in that kid's gut? I don't remember who took the 56 seconds to pull you out of him and put you in a corner...it was like a well rehearsed movement...swoop in for you and drop ya in the corner, head and chest covered in his blood
sterilize and back inside without missing but two heartbeats
now it's your own blood that covered what was left of your head
why Charley why
didn't get answers then and there is none now

shoveling the mud sliding into the OR during monsoon
never seemed fast enough
us cleaning fast as we could
oh well

71 worst ejaculation hospital
least offensive name we called it
offensive
saw the results of a lot of them, didn't we Charles Lee?
saw a lot of things
I'm glad we saw them together
I'm sorry for the look of relief in your eyes when i said crispy critters for the first time
heart hardened and ya knew I'd make it--helluva way to grow up, isn't it? we did grow up though and they didn't

why?
Charles Lee
Taps again
in honor of your service

I'll miss you, brother
say hello to those who are saying, Welcome Home! to you now
home of rest and peace and the puzzle fits again

Cap