Yes, including all of your feelings in reaction to your last session. Because that's where the beginning to understanding lies, and the understanding and awareness lead to change.

It can be very hard to shift from focusing on external things to focusing on internal things, feelings, experiences.

Extreme focus on T can be resistance to looking within. Resistance to looking with is very hard for some, because looking within is very scary for some. So scary we'd rather keep the focus on something - anything! -else.

When the focus on that something else begins to be re-directed, we can panic from feeling vulnerable, frightened, in danger, because the focus is shifting to us.

I say this not because I know you or your T, but because I have experienced something similar recently, and several times. In the last few days, following a post session call to T accusing her of pressuring me and of not wanting me to come back, I have come to realize that it is me pressuring me, and me resisting, and the fear of the focus shifting caused me to try to re-direct the focus back to her by way of my lashing out and accusations. Next session will be all about that, my reaction to the last session, my calls to her, my fears, my resistance. I'm uncomfortable about the calls I made, but I am committed to my therapy and showing up to talk about anything and everything.

I have no idea if what I said made sense to you or anyone, but I offer my thoughts anyway.

I hope you allow yourself your anger and fear and that you do not allow them to stop you from learning about you. It's hard work sometimes. It's uncomfortable sometimes.

But.. you.. are.. worth.. it.