My mind is racing so fast.
It is hard to explain, but it's like someone has a remote control and it is just "flipping" through like someone who is trying to find something on TV.

I hear random (and highly annoying) stuff like buzzing (like when a light is on that makes that noise), to all kinds of negative stuff...
"you are worthless"
"you are ugly"
"nobody really loves you... and if say they do, they are all lying"
"you need to SH... you know you want to... it'll make you feel better..."
"you are stupid"
"you are pathetic"
"you will never amount to anything"
"your husband is gonna leave you... you don't deserve him... he deserves so much better than you"
"you are sick"
"you don't deserve to be happy"
"your family would be better off without you"
... the list goes on and on and on
it also sounds like all this is being said very tauntingly... like someone is almost snickering while saying it... if that makes any sense.

I know this is gonna sound very strange and unbelievable, but I almost feel as though I am in my head and I am being pointed and laughed at while all this is going on.

.................................................. ................................................

and then I also "see" stuff too...

I see a naked woman, she is very thin and pale, sitting on a (I think) bathroom tile floor, leaning against a wall, knees up to chest, bloody towels and tools are all around her... stringy hair in front of her face so it is barely visible, but I can see the pain/numbness in her eyes... she is cutting herself... almost like she is trying to skin herself alive...she is moaning (I can hear it)........ she doesn't want to do it, but she can't cope with the emotional pain any other way...

the vision of her and the noises I can hear her making are so vivid, it seems real, like I am in the room with her...

I also see random words just like floating around in my head...
most of which are the main words from the things I hear... or closely related to what I hear.
Words I see are like
UGLY
DISGUSTING
WORTHLESS
ALONE
UNLOVED
UNLOVABLE
CUT (I actually see it in red letters)
BLOOD
*insert names of tools* (the letters seem like they are dripping blood)
STUPID
SICK
(this list could go on and on too)

I feel like I am going insane!!!!!
(and I know ya'll probably think I am too...)