sometimes the only way people know how to connect with others is to ***** about people who aren't present. that can surely be the way it seems. if you just kind of keep quiet / not contribute when people are doing that... then they tend to feel that you aren't part of things... but then when people are like that i guess one can be fairly sure that they will get to you at some point.

i've had a problem with this recently, too. hard for me to know what to do... i said a couple times about how i wasn't really into worrying so much about what everyone else was / was not doing. they looked a little abashed... but then got right back to it. think it is the only way they know how to relate... need to run down others in order to feel acceptable themselves.

i have distanced myself from these people. there will be OTHER people around who aren't like that. time to seek out those people... bet there are other people around who are feeling like you. i would never feel comfortable being friends with people who i'm fairly sure are horrid about me behind my back... with friends like that who needs enemies???

there always will be people like that around you in your life... the thing is... so long as you have some people around who are good social supports then whatever these people think will really seem to matter a whole heap less. if it doesn't get to you it isn't so bad. you know it isn't personal anyways - right? some people... ***** about basically everyone...