Some people just don't know how to forgive. They lack a pretty important social skill. Once you've apologized, the ball is in their court. One thing that may help in the future is adding to your apology, "Please forgive me." That lets them know that something's required on their part.

If someone doesn't forgive you, it's sad...moreso for them, because they've refused to accept a blessing.

I've found the best way to deal with those feelings of loss are to find somewhere you can get validated. Other people's words leave a stain on your heart. The child's saying, "Sticks and stones will hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me," isn't a truism, but a way to protect yourself from bullys. Words hurt.

Here's my virtual hug: I know it hurts. I'm sorry you are suffering. Making mistakes and learning from them is all a part of being human and growing. You deserve to be forgiven. It takes a special person to have the humility to apologize. There is no defect in you.