I am one of those people who goes through life trying not to be noticed, trying not to take up too much space, too much of anyone's time, including T's time. I don't really see how its serving me at all, but I'm more comfortable trying hard not to be needy and a "burden".

T has invited me to call her in between sessions. I've been seeing her for 1.5 years and have called her once. She has invited me to email her while she's away on vacation. I finally did (once), and it didn't feel good. During periods when I've been seeing her 2-3x/week, she has offered me a reduction in her fee. I don't feel comfortable burdening her with my presence unless I pay full price.

I've read the board with great curiosity the stories of people who lean on their T outside of session, call their T multiple times per week or per day, they scream at them and hang up on them or are otherwise not "polite" and "contained"! My T has also invited me to Bring It On when I'm mad at her, and I just can't do it.

How has it helped you to be in contact with your T outside of your scheduled, paid for sessions?

I think it would be incredibly hard, but good in a way, for me to be a little needy with T and for her to see some ugly parts of me, and have her not run away or leave me over it. But I can't trust that it wouldn't be a big mistake, that if she saw the real me she wouldn't continue to see me.