it is not "minor" dissociation. minor dissociation happens to everyone e.g., when we are driving a car and lose track of time. what is happening to you is more. i think that it what your T meant by being between "normal and DID".

i don't have DID/MPD so i can't really say from that perspective... but from someone who has PTSD, i really relate to what you have written. it does not sound to me like you have fully fledged alters. more just that... you have parts of yourself that are still struggling in the adult world, and this can be addressed in therapy.

i recently started talking to my pdoc about the abuse. he tries to reach the little girl inside of me that needs love and care. she gets very confused and needy and lost and overwhelmed, she isn't like the "normal" me at all. but pdoc says we can heal her in time. i don't have DID, but i do have a part of me that feels abandoned, and that no one will love me. i also have a part that encourages people to treat me with disrespect.

like multipixie said, it sounds to me like you are trying to figure out if your suffering is "enough"? i think it is. what you have been through is 'enough', and the pain you are experiencing now is enough. treatment for me just involves talking to my pdoc, and he knows how to respond to the parts of me that feel abandoned. he nourishes them and they are healing. he has also said he will protect me from my need/desire to get abused again. i trust him.

i hope this helps... xo deli