 hi "tu", you did a good thing...getting rid of those meds. as for not being proud of yourself right now....by now i hope you have moved on to "today"...ya can't change the past but ya can make today better. just keep putting one foot in front of the other. you're on the right track..ya just got slightly derailed. learn from your disappointments and pretty soon you'll see a history of successes. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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