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multipixie9 · Jan 02, 2009, 08:22 PM

dear person,

please do not apologise for taking a scary step and speaking the truth about how you are living. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

none of us knows exactly what is going on with you or what has happened, but i do believe you. i believe something bad was happening and to survive you had to deny it even to yourself.

i can't explain it but i identify with some of what you are saying. i had things happen that didn't make sense to me and inside i was suffering but i had to "pass for normal". i had to appear ok no matter what was happening to me. i was being hurt. i was being abused and i had no one who helped me. eventually i began to seek help, read books on help, go to groups, pray for help. sometimes i get too tired and i have privately longed to die. but somehow i am alive and i am getting help. God, not religion has helped me. it is taking so long and i get tired but i exist for a reason and i have a purpose and i will live until God really thinks it is time for me to die. without God i would have done all i could to kill myself.

i am sorry you have to wait even a few weeks more but the time is coming and you will be able to talk to your T. i wish i could just hand you some hope or something that would help you and give you a way to get past the heavy weight of despair. there is help and i hope just seeing some support will help you hang on. hang on. just decide to hang on. use the support on here and don't apologise any more. you did not choose to feel bad for no reason, you can recover. if i told you all i know about my life you would be horrified but also know that we both deserve a life. children don't know how to get help when they are small and something bad is happening.

i care.

leslie and her pixies