Being programmed to suicide-by-"acciden"t- i had been confounded by the first act of self-destruction which felt against my will. At 17 when I went to the school shrink secretely he had tipped off the mother- she was furious and punitive and I impulsively ran in front of a car - injured head trauma etc) BUT working all these years towards understanding the voice that prompts self-destruction -I have recognized the programming by the perpetrators and can RESIST the commands. I believe there was devine intervention but this is not the place tho air religious concepts. It IS the place to provoke hope for all that you CAN keep putting it all together (like kd just did with her perm). Thank you for listening.