Bleah, I too would have a hard time leaning on my T too much outside of my sessions. We don't have much outside contact, but everyone's therapy relationship is different. However, I have learned to lean on my T during my sessions. It has been hard, as I began therapy being one of those ultra-contained people. But I've grown since then and learned to know what I'm feeling (sometimes!), show my emotions, and accept that I am paying a guy money to let me lean on him for an hour a week. Or cry with him or share my joy with him or get mad at him or whatever. That's his job and role. It was harder for me to do my part--open up, feel, and allow myself to make use of his skills, empathy, and caring--than for him to do his part.

Keep going with therapy. It's a long haul but can be life transforming. As you develop more and more trust with your T, you will let her see more and more of you, and get to experience her acceptance of all of your parts.