bleah, i think what you wrote is incredibly articulate. perhaps you could print it out and show your T?

my pdoc... i've been seeing him for 4yrs. initially i saw him every few months, but now it is down to about once a week or every 2 weeks. sometimes i even call him in between. if i had told this to my new-to-therapy-self, she would have been shocked that i could impose myself that much on someone.

in our relationship - pdoc is the one who calls the shots. he decides when i will see him next, and that has been good for me, because i dont need to feel guilty about impinging on his time if he isnt prepared to see me. he encourages me during our sessions to call him if i need him, and when he realised i wasn't doing it - he explained to me why. he says it's easier for him to take 5mins out of his day to catch and contain me, than it is for both of us to struggle when i'm already in the depths of doom and depressed. so calling him is kind of like maintenance therapy - something i do to prevent getting worse.