earthmama, i understand.

last year i had a cancer scare. my GP told me there was a strong chance i had cancer. my pdoc got worried and said there was a strong chance i had cancer. i got referred to a specialist and they did surgery on me within a week because they were scared i might have cancer also.

thankfully, everything was clear. doc's dont know what it was that was wrong with me, but it wasn't cancer .

but T was the only person who remained calm in all of this and encouraged me to persevere. i could laughingly tell my friends... but i made it into a joke about the procedure. i didnt tell my family. it went on for eleven months.

without T i couldn't have done it. so i understand you needing T. i hope he gets back to you soon.