sometimes... when i'm feeling very alone and trying to do the self care thing and it doesn't feel like it is working... i visualize t. whatever about them that helps the most. for me it is his voice and some kind of nebulous secure presence. some mental pictures of him leaning forwards listening intently. in tune with my hurt feelings. do you have any memories or visualizations that you can call up to sit with you right now? sometimes... conversations, too. sometimes i imagine me just talking to him... or sometimes what i think he might say (though i don't feel i know him well enough for that). mostly just him leaning forward feeling my pain alongside me. sometimes i imagine him holding me, too. not that he does that in person... but sometimes this kinda stuff helps me feel a little less alone with things. hang in there.