Oh yes P7 let's all ignore the elephant in the room and it will disappear. My T talks about the chocolate cake that we are not gonna eat even though we can smell it and see it... Are you truly safe? Can you call your therapist? Cos this is as close to an emergency as it gets.

Can you play it out in your mind? See it step by step and see the results, not only the chance of immediate release but what it would do to those who care about you? One thing that helped me was considering how many ways it could go wrong... I do not want to become a vegetable or trapped in my body unable to communicate, I may be limited in how far and long I can walk now but I would rather not be confined to a wheelchair or bed. I doubt that you want that either.

Be kind to yourself.