Ok I will talk to my T monday, I will try not to be the biggest chicken in the universe!!! (definately NOT brave deli , not about this anyway) - can barely get the words out here - dont think i would be any good on the phone with a helpline but thankyou

thanks Kim I will do as you suggested and test the waters and take it from there. I am sorry you are having a bad time of it

Dalila - what elephant? I see no elephant ?thats just my aunt in a grey suit LOL hmmm or it could be me ha ha

Some of the patients i have looked after have been ... well lets say they tried and failed but survived - no i dont want to end up like that and I wouldnt - I can't call my T there are no calls inbetween sessions - there is an emergency line that would be the T on duty but not my T, and ... this is not an emergency - I am in control - I can still think of the damage it would cause to others - the dangerous time for me is when I no longer think about that - this is not that time - I am in control - but i thankyou for your concern