hand in there, chrise.  i hope the new meds will help you. so glad you stuck it out so far. it will pay off. i know. i've been where you are and now my life is good. try to keep hope alive or let us hold you up until you can stand alone all by yourself. we care about you. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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