gratitude list: things that i am grateful for today. things that bring a smile on my face...it could be a happy memory. that i have food to eat today because many are starving. things that i know are good things about myself...like honest or i'm a good friend. that today is a sunny day or a rainy day, etc. that i have people who care about me...be specific, like friends at pc.
throughout the day add other things to your list as they come to you. reread your list often throughout the day. it will reinforce the positive. start your day each day with a new list. save the others to reread too.
you stated your ex found your old journal. sounds like he's not around now so hopefully you can do this. each day at the top do a ranking about how you feel. 1- feeling very bad, 5- being great! write about how you are feeling, what is bothering you, etc. expressing even our hopelessness is letting steam out of the pressure cooker of our mind. it lessens the intensity.
i have saved all my journals from 18 years ago...not to remind me of the sorrow i felt, the lack of hope, etc but to see just how very far i have come. i don't read them often...about every 5 years...but it reinforces to me that a human being that stated all she did was breathe air is now a positive person with love in her heart for herself, hope, and loving each breath of air i breathe.
i wish all those good things for you too. today i can honestly say that i do believe those things can happen to you. i was at death's door and was restored. keep us posted, k?