xivella - congrats on starting to open up to your T, too . my pdoc wanted to wait until the new year, so that we wouldn't have a break in between, but i was starting to deal with flashbacks and it kind of got forced upon us, really. i think you are in a safe space with your T - you should be able to tell her anything without fear that she will judge or hurt you. but having said that, i relate. there are a lot of things i never told my T when i was working with him. keep going, ella, i'll support you.