He gave me hope. I was stuck, trapped, unable to move forward. He gave me hope I could do it--surmount the problems in my life and live to tell about it.

Sometimes he will normalize things for me, tell me I am not the only one with that particular problem and that helps me feel not so aberrant. Like when I told him I had an ego state of the opposite sex. I thought that was the most bizarre and aberrant thing, but he told me it was not uncommon, and that made me feel immensely better.

Most of the time, he lets me choose the topics and direction for therapy that day. He has told me this is my responsibility, that only I know what I need to heal. This has been empowering.

A little thing he does occasionally is ask me to state something in a positive way, instead of a negative. For example (I haven't said this myself), instead of saying, "I don't want to be dependent on others," one could say, "I want to be independent." That is very powerful. It helps me know what I want instead of what I don't want. And if we know what we want, we can work towards it.

He self discloses frequently. This makes the relationship seem more mutualistic, authentic, and real. He is a real person. He has a real life. He has gone through some of the same situations I have and has hard-earned wisdom to share. He models sharing about his own life and this helps me see how to do that and share with him.