First of all, let me set something straight. I am no wilting flower in therapy. I do share all of these things with T (and then some). I am entitled to be angry with him. Period. He would be happy if I had a big fight with him. But I collapse and get hurt instead.

Simcha, I don't play games in therapy and don't want to "play with his head." I take my therapy very seriously.

I am working through a huge transference here because I am also angry with my mother.

Second of all, Sannah, I am well aware that being taken care of is important and a core wound--and yes I know it and yes we have discussed it and will again and again.

Spoted Owl/EM--Thanks! I like the idea of changing seats. I don't want him to sit next to me right now because I am too pissed at him. I would probably stomp his foot accidentally on purpose. But I might try lying down. I've been thinking of that also. I just don't want to look at him right now.

In my therapy I am working through complex ptsd. I am slowly becoming aware that almost anything can trigger me. So my number one priority right now, if I don't quit (and I guess I won't) is to re-establish a sense of safety with T. Right now he is a threat and I do not feel safe in his office.

OMG THIS IS TOO HARD!!