I do not want to get pregnant. I do not want to go through pregnancy. I do not want to have a baby. If I decide I am ready, I want to adopt pre-teens.

My husband wants babies. He loves the idea of the pregnant wife, the newborn child, the toddler years...

We have agreed not to discuss it for now, but it sneaks by in some when he talks about our future: "...when we have our kids..."

If I did get pregnant- unplanned, of course, I would have the baby and love my family. I just really do not want that to happen on purpose.

My husband gets really angry when we would try to discuss it early in our marriage. He new I wanted to adopt before we were married, but I think he thought I might change my mind or do both. Once he starts to hear that I have not changed my mind he shuts down the conversation. So, we are not talking about it.

This is going to be harder to avoid in the coming year. He is turning 30 and he wants kids.

I am stuck as to how to show him that I really want to adopt and that is it.