Do you know what you are resisting? You mention keeping the internal hidden. Are there specific things that are internal that are scary to share? (I'm not asking you to say what they are here, but just if you know what they are.) If you don't know the specific things you are resisting, maybe that would be a first step. Maybe you could spend time trying to discover what those internal things are that you don't want to talk to T about--maybe through writing in your journal?

If you do know what those internal things are and can't bring yourself to talk about them, could you tell your T "there is something I want to talk about but am finding many excuses not to. Could you help me stick to this topic, get it out, and not let me get distracted and change the subject?" Do you think she could help you with this?

Maybe what I've written isn't relevant. ECHOES, I'm not sure if you know what you are resisting or not. In the past, there have been times I was resistant and wasn't really even aware of it. I was able to get past it by becoming aware of what I was doing. When I knew I was resistant, it was easier to sweep that aside and get to the heart of the matter. Kind of like, "aha, I've found you out, you won't stand in my way anymore!" So I think it is a really good thing that you have discovered your focus on the external is a way of resisting. Now you can watch yourself and guard against that.