Echoes,

Just noticing that you are paying attention to the external things instead of some internal things is good work.

I am self-protective when I'm only going once a week or otherwise have a break coming up. I wouldn't call it resistance, per se, just a healthy defense to maintain some connection without putting it all out there.

If it really is some kind of resistance, I've found that the kinds of external things I am focusing on can be a clue to what I'm not talking about. Sometimes I go in looking to pick a fight with T, sometimes I won't believe that T could possibly care about me, sometimes I want to hate a certain affect---those are never the issues but at least I get some hints about the underlying feelings that I'm not aware of, whether they be anger, insecurity, shame, etc.

I really believe that "resistance" is as important as all the other parts of the work. You're doing good therapy, I'm just sorry it doesn't feel like that to you right now. (I know the feeling)

~doubtful