i'm not sure but it sounds like you are not looking at your accomplishments and acknowledging them as part of you. i understand and can relate to some of your feelings of "I don't know" and i found that therapy untangled so much for me. there was so much of what i called life that i didn't understand. sometimes i'd try to interact in life but found myself doing the opposite of healthy. as a result, i'd even write down exactly what my T said to say in certain situations. i guess this sounds whacky to some people but for me it was real. i didn't do life well, is what i'd say. i had an excellent T. he helped me with a lot of life tools.