First of all, I want to say I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. There is absolutely no excuse for what he did.

At the same time, I do think the kind of reasoning people with bpd have can have an influence (not cause) this type of behavior. People with this disorder have a poor sense of identity and usually low self esteem. They (or we) also have a strong need to feel close to others and are terribly fearful of rejection. For me, sex was a way to feel connected to someone and accepted. If I felt that someone didn't desire me sexually, that meant that I was unattractive, not good enough, etc.

This kind of perceived rejection can turn you into a "bad" person in the eyes of the borderline. Not to mention that with bpd have poor impulse control and trouble regulating emotions. So something as simple as saying that you only want to kiss can send them into emotional crisis and enrage them.

Once more I'd like to say that there's no excuse and that is in no way you fault! I just thought this information might help you understand what ocurred. If you have anymore questions, let me know!