Maybe basing your whole life & happiness on this one goal of having a spouse & being a wife?? What if that is not in the cards for you? You need to develop yourself as a full person--as a worthwhile person yourself--regardless of whether you will achieve your dream or not. And a little secret, you will be much more attractive as a mate if you are a fully functioning, independent, interesting, successful person in your own right. Take care & "grown yourself."--Suzy