Thanks lifelesstraveled, could very well be.

Chaotic, what you said sort of goes along with the URL info that lifelesstraveld sent.
The death of my mom could very well be playing in all of this. She was the only one I was connected to so now I find myself feeling much more alone. My step-dad has not communicated with me at all since my moms death. I went to my parent's house because it was his birthday and I wanted to see him and bring a gift. We talked, it was ok but Christmas has come and gone and I have still yet to hear from him. Even though I was not connected to my step-dad, he's been my dad since I was 1.

Its like I have this whole new life but without anyone in it.
I agree that we all have purpose, I just don't know what mine is anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I lived for others so much that I never found me.

I did love the kids that I taught and they loved me. Many of them cried when they heard I was not coming back the following year. It was a small school for children with learning disabilities so I saw all of them every day.

I suspected one of my students was being abused because of her behavior. One day, I finally confronted her about it in private and she told me that her dad had been abusing her. So I informed her of what I had to do to help her. She was removed from her home until her dad completed anger management therapy. There were others who I had helped along the way as well. It only seemed naturally for me to help others. In doing so I felt like I was in my element.

Some of my foreign trips included missions work. I loved that, but things have changed, its as if I lost my passion for those things and I don't know how to get it back.

I can try to share this with my therapist but right now I am at that point where nothing seems to matter, not even doing that.

hangingon