UPDATE: so John went home to chicago for about a week to see friends and family. So a bunch of people wrote on his facebook how much they missed him etc... Well his stupid ex (Jacky) wrote on there "seems like ur a very missed person". And I took that as her saying she misses him. And that sent me over the edge. I called him and told him I was sick of her b.s. and that its bull that he can get upset when my ex texts me 1 time to say merry christmas but whenever she does something like saying she misses him im supposed to just take it.

i said i wasnt allowing him to make me feel like a bad person for getting upset and that any girl would get upset if their bf's ex was doing this stuff after 4 months. i said i refused to deal with it and i was sick of her. I told him I wanted her off his friends list once and for all so she can't post things specifically so his friends see them and think "oh they must still be talking". because thats all it is. she does it so that his friends will see that shes writing and think that theyre still talking.

once i said that it was b.s. that he can get mad at my ex but i cant get mad at Jacky he stopped telling me I was being irrational. This whole he has been saying "i wouldnt get mad if you guys talked" bc it had never happened so he didnt know how he would react. but then it did and he reacted the same way, if not worse, as i did.

so he deleted her so she no longer has access to his profile or mine and cant write anything on there anymore.

then he started freaking out asking me if i was mad etc... so i think it finally got through to him how much it hurt seeing her say stuff like that. now, because my ex did it, he knows what that feels like and finally got where i was coming from. so i just said that we both know were both insecure. we have both overreacted about exes being stupid and said things we didnt mean and we have both gotten upset about it. so lets just put it in the past and she is gone from our lives.

so i think that might be the end i finally stood up for myself! this whole time i thought i was irrational for being insecure about his ex saying things like that but now i realize that any woman in her right mind would be upset if her bf's ex was constantly saying that she missed him etc... and was doing things specifically to upset me. i feel much better now.

i also feel more confident about us. i was always scared that if i were to say "im not dealing with this anymore. choose, its either her or me. but one of us has to go" that he would choose her over me. and now that hes done something blatantly against her like that i feel much better. i just dont trust any girl who is going to be that much of an attention *****. i just want to knock on her door and when she opens it scream 'GET A LIFE!' lol

thanks everyone for your responses