 welcome to pc!! i'm not a pdoc but it sounds like you are in a depression...could be more, but don't want to speculate. what you can do is keep a journal about how you feel. if you don't have a therapist, can you obtain one? many times a T can help you unravel your thoughts. i hope you will follow through and get help. sometimes it's too difficult to understand on your own what's going on. also do you trust your parents enough to get them involved with getting you help?
hope you find the answers you need real soon. keep us posted, k? we're happy to listen. 
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
|