My first marrage was when I was 17. I was young, stupid and had no conviction to stand up for myself. I had given up every single part of me. I was severely abused by my first husband and he had broke me down to the point that I was so afraid to challenge anything he had to say. We had two children together. I realized that this life was not healthy for the kids so I did the most courageous thing I knew and left. I left with nothing, litteraly.
I met my current husband, and out of fear of relationships and men I was very stubborn in the beginning of our relationship. I felt as thought after my first marriage I had given up all parts of me that I would not do that again. After all, I had two daughters to rasie and how would that warp their point of view. I wanted them to grow up being self confident, secure and never have to reply on a man for anything.
It took me years to actually beleive that my current hubby was one of the good guys in this world. I was so traumatized by the abuse I endured with hubby # 1 that it took me so long to realize that all men arnt abusers.
Like I said, I refused to compromise in the beginning of my relationship with current hubby because I was afraid too. He did all the compromising. He knew what I had been through and he totally healed me from all the fear I had felt from my 1st hubby. I thing hubby and I have a good relationship now. I feel that I am not giving up my existance when I make compromises with him.

I hope I didnt ramble on and I sure hope what I wrote makes sence. Thank you for posting this.