Please note trigger icon!
(((((((((( purplebutterfly )))))))))))

Nothing, useless and pathetic. Were you abused as a child? I'm guessing that you were. Possibly told you were nothing, useless and pathetic.
You need therapy to deal with all this. Know where all these bad feelings come from and why you punish yourself so much. Then learn to nurture that wounded part of yourself.
__________________
Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein