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Old Jan 05, 2009, 05:20 PM
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miserycriz miserycriz is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 58
3velniai
I am sorry that you can relate...No one should have to feel this way really!! I like your mantra though!!! I know I need to trust someone..I know it's imperative to do so I really do...As the a whole there is not a better person then the husband...He knows more then I belive we have collectively told the t...He does not judge but yet he has hurt us too just by things he does but he dosen't mean too...
I appreciate the fact that your able to understand though...I also fear disappointing people especially my t? I don't know why but I just want to be strong..I don't want to be weak or break down in front of her or let my guard down? Not sure which leads to my answer to Sannah's question that I started to shut down with T when I started to talk about when things in my life actually started to happen and I told her of one experience and I actually started to change in an uncomfortable way the old "me" that I spoke of came out and then I haven't actually been able to communicate to her since..In fact she e-mails me and I feel like yelling at her even smacking her when I see her. It's awful the rage I feel towards her and I haven't told her any of this at all. I do feel a bit guilty about the anger I feel towards her cuz she has bent over backwards to try to help my insurance dosen't recognize her as a provider blah blah blah and so she recduces her rates and what not but the point is I haven't even really went back to see her since that episode now that I am tallking to you all about it? You guys I feel a storm brewing with in me and I am just not sure what it all means? Than you ALL for replying..In a world of such confusion it's so NICE to have people like you to share it with and not to be ALONE...I felt so scared the last few weeks and although I have lurked I a have been to worried I would say something incredibly dumb or too out there that people would just NOT respond that's happened to me allot...Ugg...I appreciate your kindness everyone...
Misery
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