(((((((((((mistymi)))))))))))
I don't think you did anything wrong. I think that sometimes, while growing up, we assume it's our fault and carry that through with us. And sometimes we ARE blamed and carry that forward. I can relate to how you feel (not good enough). I often feel that way, but finally I think there is a small chink in the armor and maybe it's getting through to me that not everything can possibly be my fault (what a concept, huh?).
I also understand not being able to put the effort into anything, including the computer.
Lots of hugs to you. 
__________________
"What is Real? asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day.
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
-The Velveteen Rabbit by Marjorie Williams
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