it sounds like your husband is the problem, not you. if i'm understanding correctly. the gist of what i got is that regardless of what you do, you are being blamed for anything that goes wrong. if that is the case the problem does not lie with you.
my abusive ex-husband used to blame me for things i wasn't even present for! an example: he wrecked his car coming home from work and i caught hell when he got home because of this. it's enough to start second guessing yourself in a situation like this cause the logic is skewed.
so if i'm right about what you meant, the problem is not you. the blame or emotional abuse is coming from your husband.he is the problem!
if i misinterpreted what you meant, i'm sorry.
be kind to yourself.