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Jan 06, 2009, 01:35 AM
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: east of the sun, west of the moon
Posts: 2,259
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minime, i am so so sorry for what happened to you. i feel like i understand watching something i know is bad for me but feeling compelled to watch and see if the child gets rescued or the bad person gets punished. i relate to wanting a mom, something i deny much of the time since i am a mom of adult daughters it seems too late for me to be nurtured. my bio mom has died and was one who got angry when i asked for what she could not give.
mini, when the feelings come out - when you can't call or be seen (which happens to all of us sadly) could you maybe write or audio tape what you are going through and take it with you to counseling? i just wonder if maybe doing something like that would help you bring back the feelings, memories of what came up like after this show. i get so frustrated sometimes because i seem to feel most deeply precisely when no one could possibly help me - like this time at night!
age 9 was my worst year in a rough childhood and i sympathize with how horrible it is to be so little and in such danger and pain. i wish i could give you a gift of healing that would just do something good for you. i feel so helpless in the face of your pain as well as my own. but, i am better off than i was, it seems very messy right now, but at least i can actually feel my feelings finally. hugs to you, if you want them. 
leslie and pixies
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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