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yes, bead hears.........

bead lissens.........

bead cares..........

and please never think you is stupid for posting how yur feeling......you have a right to your feelings, even the ones you dont like.........
bead can relate to everything you wirted, especially about closing up and kinda shutting down when T or anyone gets too close to the tuff stuff ( bead calls it the s hit in the garbage can) is very hard.......especially to trust anyone including T.........bead hopes you can learn to at least trust one person like T sounds like your T really does want to help

anyway, bead here for you and walk the path with you if you like
feel free to pm any time if you need someone to talk to

beads