I just need to rant about therapy. I am so angry right now that therapy is so hard and painful. On one hand, it seems like the right thing to do to face my painful issues and resolve them. On the other hand, during the years I've been in therapy, I can say that for every 1 ounce of relief or comfort I've felt, I've had at least 10 ounces of pain, maybe more. Also, for some issues, it does not seem like there is any good resolution, and the only thing that can be done is to talk, talk, talk about it until i am sick of hearing my own voice. i feel like a damn tape recorder. i don't know how my t can stand hearing the same things over and over again.

Therapy brings up the most painful unmet needs. I wonder what's the use of unearthing such deep yearnings and gut level pain about the attachment needs that were not met when we were children. . .only to find out that they cannot be met in the therapy relationship either? The caring we get from our t's does not hold a candle to the gaping hole inside. We are so empty and famished emotionally and relationally that once we actually see and acknowledge what's missing, it hurts like (*^U%& and we can't help reaching out to our t's to comfort us. But NO. To most t's, even a hug or handhold is taboo. What?! Are our needs to be faced, acknowledged, felt, grieved, but not to be filled. . .ever??? How is that "healing?"

I know full well that we are supposed to be able to develop the capacity to soothe our own hurt inner child. But dang it, how can I give myself something that I've never had to start with? I don't even know what true nurturing comfort feels like, much less can I give it to my hurting inner child. I'm sick of being in pain and want to know where the "therapy" part of therapy comes in. All I seem to do is come into touch with more and more buried pain.