Haven't been emotionally able to come in this forum for a few days. I'm feeling emotionally very fragile right now. Being around other people's grief is triggering right now.

Mom is probably doing better than I am right now. I visited her Sunday night. Will go see her tomorrow. Cognitively she was doing pretty well Sunday. She was fairly well oriented and her memory wasn't too bad. The edema in her legs (due to kidney failure) is getting worse though.

Me? I'm an emotional wreck. Went back to work yesterday after five days off. I'm miserable at home because I have too much time to think and hurt. I'm distracted and irritable at work. I almost went off on my boss today because he was being a moron. That would not have been a good choice on my part.

Grief keeps sneaking up on me. I'm going through my day doing whatever and something will hit me out of the blue. I was walking through the drug store tonight. Walked passed the leftover Christmas stuff they were selling off. All of a sudden I had to fight tears when I thought I probably won't have anymore Christmases with Mom.

I've been down the grief path way too many times already. I know how it goes. Fer gawd's sake I'm a therapist! I know the stages of grief and all that "stuff". Doesn't make it any easier to cope though.