Hi Chaotic
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Originally Posted by chaotic13
It is sad to say that I feel so much better on the medication than off. Duh...hence why I take it right! I just wonder if this may make me psychologically dependent on it
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kinda oxymoronic huh..... LOL ! psychologically dependant .
Maybe in the worry that you have to take a drug it inorder to live a more productive life. Diabetics are psychologically dependant on having to take insulin. They know they have to take thier insulin or they will die.
I ever looked at my food addiction as a way to try to focus , but it is . something about doing two things at once helps me to be able to read and think about something in a focused way. I don't know what that is . It maybe when I read and think my body gets overstimulated so I have to find a way to quite the body.
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I wonder am I to the point where I think I can't work effectively without medication. This worries me a bit. If I can't sleep or read for an hour, or crank out a few syllabi then... HEY you better get back on the drugs! I've never considered myself at risk for addiction, but maybe this is how it starts. You start feeling like you can't be "something" or "perform well enough" without taking medication. I am just a freak about addiction and feeling like I am masking my true self. I know its dumb...ADHD is not curable so like BP we take medication to manage it. I know I've been here several times throughtout the year. Maybe I am just slipping into my self-loathing pattern and focusing on defects again. Maybe I am just being aware of what I'm really doing.
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were you able to work effectively before taking meds?
again oxymoronic. masking ones true self..
I guess if you want to be bouncing off the walls as an ineffective, figgiter who can't remember ****
intreupts people inorder to beable to hold onto a thought . late for everythig because you can;t remember where anything is . jump from one thing to another several times a day and feel overwhlemed because you see the whole picture with a task . then . well ...
thats a great true self huh. more like a behavioral self. Theres a true self in there under and intertwined with the behaviors .
I suspect there is a withdrawl from these drugs. There are other drugs that have withdrawl symptoms. As long as you are not using more than prescribed then your not a drug addict. I do not know what the long term effect these kinds of drugs have on the brain.
I have been told its the quality of life that psychiatrists focus on vs the long term ramifications/ side effects of the drugs they prescribe.
I tried my first meditation class tonight at my therapists request. I have no idea if it will help me focus or not. Maybe find a way to be more calm.
and deal with the self esteme issues that result from my chaotic self.
I hope you'll be focusing better soon and the dreams stop.
Patricia