I read your post earlier and wasn't in a position to reply, but I intended to. I'm rather scattered lately.

BPD is a scary label. I see it as being in the same class as PTSD and DID, though, because they all have similar origins, and some of the same symptoms. BPD is probably redundant with either of those other diagnoses. They are all a challenge to recover from. You seem to be well on your way, so you have a lot to be proud of.

It is brave to face anything that you have been avoiding. Lots of people avoid BPD because it has such an unpleasant stigma. Nobody has diagnosed me BPD, officially, but it is the dx that I relate to the most, because it really does describe me, even if I'm not the stereotypical BPD client. I think that understanding the symptoms and behaviors that are relevant can be helpful. And you don't have to have BPD to have some of the symptoms. One thing that I have found helpful, because it describes me so well, is a list of characteristics from Marsha Linehan:

1. Emotional vulnerability: A pattern of pervasive difficulties in regulating negative emotions, including high sensitivity to negative emotional stimuli, high emotional intensity, and slow return to emotional baseline, as well as awareness and experience of emotional vulnerability. May include a tendency to blame the social environment for unrealistic expectations and demands.
2. Self-invalidation: Tendency to invalidate or fail to recognize one’s own emotional responses, thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. Unrealistically high standards and expectations for self. May include intense shame, self-hate, and self-directed anger.
3. Unrelenting crises: Pattern of frequent, stressful, negative environmental events, disruptions, and roadblocks - some caused by the individual’s dysfunctional lifestyle, others by an inadequate social milieu, and many by fate or chance.
4. Inhibited grieving: Tendency to inhibit and overcontrol negative emotional responses, especially those associated with grief and loss, including sadness, anger, guilt, shame, anxiety, and panic.
5. Active passivity: Tendency to passive interpersonal problem-solving style, involving failure to engage actively in solving of own life problems, often together with active attempts to solicit problem solving from others in the environment; learned helplessness, hopelessness.
6. Apparent competence: Tendency for the individual to appear deceptively more competent than she actually is; usually due to failure of competencies to generalize across expected moods, situations, and time, and to failure to display adequate nonverbal cues of emotional distress.

If a lot of these sound like you, then DBT therapy and skills training might be helpful.

Lost in the Mirror, 2nd Edition: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder by Richard Moskovitz is good book for getting a feel of what BPD is. You will find lots more books either on Amazon or at the public library.