Hi babe, I have lived with bpd for 16 years and I managed to avoid jail or getting killed. I was a really violent, nasty person with a heart of gold. I don't really know where to start with your situation as there are many factors involved but you sound like you need some spiritual time-out for you and your husband. Bpd can be a really nasty, unpredictable disorder, but aren't they all to some degree? It took me along time to find a little peace and I am still growing.

I was also a single mother, hospitalised many times and self-destructed. I was also dx with schizoeffective at that time and dx bipolar last year. Woah, that was a punch in the guts. I wonder if maybe you should explore this dx with more indepth exploration with a psychiatrist perhaps? It may be that things have changed since you were hospitalised and that dx does not stick. It sounds like you have enough to deal with.

I hope I have kind of helped and am willing to explore this with you in greater depth if you wish. Good luck! we are with you