I am just going to ask.

I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused as a child. I started seeing a tdoc at 15 years old. I only started remembering the sexual abuse 1.5 years ago. I've always remembered the physical abuse.

I've been diagnosed with a variety of things, however, the diagnosis'... I can see now are related because of the childhood abuse. OCD, eating disorder, PTSD. depression, etc.

I created 2 imaginary friends when I was 4 years old. Both have names. One played with me. The other one protected me at first, however, this was His way of manipulating me into trusting Him so he could eventually destroy me. Yes, I believe this.

One was a girl, the other a boy. He is the "bad" one. She was the good one.

He is still with me. I do not see Him physically. He's in my head. I do not hear actual voices. However, He is real enough to me that I talk back to Him. I argue with Him. He tells me horrible and sadistic things.

I am not crazy. I admit to all my compulsions, obsessions, depression and anxiety...but I don't admit to being psychotic.

But I do not know who or what He is. The girl imaginary friend has been gone for a long time. He still remains. I can get in touch with Him by listening to certain songs, being angry, anxious, frustrated.

Nobody has been able to give me an example or explanation for Him. Does anybody have any thoughts? You will not offend me. I just need some theories or...well, anything really that would help me explain Him.