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Old Jan 07, 2009, 04:51 PM
skymonk skymonk is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 188
I'm glad I'm not he only one who freaks out during rape scenes on TV or in movies. I literally have to get up&walk out of the room. I was raped&sodomized by 2 neighbor teenagers when I was from the ages of 7-10. What's bad is my family was so dysfunctional I thought that if I told I'd get in trouble as if it was something I was willingly doing. The other bad thing is that one of their mothers knew what was going on&did nothing. I know she could hear me crying&struggling to get away-her bedroom was across the hall from his. I also raked my fingernails down both sides of his face once to get him off of me&to bring attention to what he was doing to me&his Mom punished me for scratching his face. She never asked why I did it. She just spanked me bare bottom in front of him&his family&told me that she'd tell my parents the next time anything like that happened.
I'm just learning my triggers&this posting reminded me that so far I know that raised voices, anyone trying to hang on to me or hold me down&rape scenes in TV/films are my triggers.
I'm sorry if this triggered anyone-it's just that 2008 was the first year that I started remembering about this stuff&it's been a long hard road.
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I am a 39 year old female that is diagnosed with bipolar disorder,anxiety disorder and post traumatic stress syndome. I'm on disability and often have no one to talk to when I'm not feeling so good. So please contact me if you'd like to talk or share or vent. I'm listening!