Ptsd and the bipolar have been kicking my a s s the past 6 months. Those extreme nightmares of the storm came back. Bringing lots of anger with them. I've started drinking again, but somehow sticking to only 5-6 a night. I've been able to stay away from the herb, hard but i'm doing it. All the political ******** being posted here got me all riled up. That got the anger in me going even worse. So many other things happening, just daily things that got so hard to handle caused my anxiety to go into a whirlspin.

I dont know how many of you know that i lost all that i had in Katrina, but well now you do. Prior to the storm my nephew lived with me half the time and my parents the other half. His parents were druggies and not worried about their son, since his birth. So we raised him as our own. The night before the storm he lost his mother to a drug overdose and that caused his father to stay behind and weather the storm. It took a little over a week to find his father and get him back to where we were staying. He was told about his mom and also that his father was forced to leave behind his dog. Up to this point his life has been hell.

Almost two years later, his father met a woman and they got engaged. She is from west Illinois and they decided to move up there, taking my nephew with them.

Since this move, they will not let us see him. My brother says we corrupted him, we did this and that to him. My nephew who is 13 now calls often begging us to come get him. He wants to move back with us. My brother abuses him verbally and mentally. He doesnt take into consideration what this child has been through. He says hes a boy and this is how you toughen him up.

This move they made has been hell for us. We miss him like you could not even imagine.

Four weeks ago my brother called and said they were coming down for Christmas. We have been excited and so looking forward to it. To see my nephew, thats the best Christmas present ever.

Today we get a phone call from my brother informing us that my nephew told him he wants to stay here when they come down. Because he told his father that, they are not taking him with them down here. My brother and his fiance' are coming down, but arent welcome here at the house. While my nephew will be left alone at their house in Illinois.

We were told not to send him any Christmas presents becuase he wont receive them. They will be trashed.

I dont know what to do but just grab him and hold him. But i cant.

This is all bringing crap back and messing with my head.