Wants2, this is an excellent post! However, I think you answered your own question. It all started when something you care very much about isn't going to happen. The "I don't care"'s are a defense mechanism against the disappointent your feeling. Then to add insult to injury this is something that you thought would affect every aspect of your life, most importantly...inner-self improvement. Now that this isn't going to happen you're shutting down rather than face your life without this course. You said it yourself, your overwhelmed. If I were you, I'd pick one or tasks a day to complete regardless of how I feel about it. The feeling of accomplishment will breath new life into.
tc. TgrsPurr.