Hi there, ah yes.....social phobia, agoraphobia, anxiety, panic. They are some of the big nasties and I have experienced all of them at some point in my life. I used to feel so guilty that I did not like groups, big rooms, bright lights, group therapy, big sounds, losing control, eating in front of people or being really nervous so I drank alot and took alot of recreational drugs just so I could cope. Not good with schizoeffective and borderline.

Now I just take my meds for bipolar and am quite comfortable with the fact that I am anti-social save for the people that I actually want to spend time with. I am good in work situations as long as nobody wants to get close intimately and have often been the training coordinator where I work so I am great with order, procedure and teaching but working on skills to learn to deal with conflict as I am terrible at that. Either I run away or turn on the person with such unrelenting fury that I scare the crap out of them.

I still get terrible anxiety and since being dx with bipolar last year, I have been housebound for at least six months of that as I had a severe recurrence of agoraphobia. It took me 3 months just to get out to my mailbox! So I just keep practicing and making the circle bigger and bigger until I can get on that bus or go back to work. All things revolve and change. Nothing ever stays the same. Don't know if that helps and I took the Myers-Briggs and it was excellent - fit me to a tee and explained alot of things to me. I am an introvert who likes to be in control and have methodology in everything. I do algebra to relieve anxiety or when I am afraid and bring order back into my world! I have also been studying chaos theory and quantum theory to understand the core of how things work and that there is order in chaos. Very interesting.

Don't despair babe, there is nothing "wrong" with you. You are just finding out who you are. Good luck and keep us posted.