Send the letter definitely. At the end of the day it does not really matter how the other person feels about it. If it is therapeutic for you...... do it. You may run the risk of your therapist using the word TRANSFERENCE and the use of such terms as " therapist/patient relationship ethics" and yada yada. But my therapist has never been my friend nor has she provided physical contact although she did hug me before Xmas and wished me well into the New Year and strangely she talks a little of her family as she and I are both mothers. But I am uncomfortable with physical contact so maybe thats why she keeps her distance.

I desperately wish that you could find the kind of comfort that you need in your personal life . I know what you mean about feeling revolting outside of a session. I often look at my therapist at the end of a session and think "you sadistic bas@#$d, how could you do this to me?" and leave feeling like I have gone ten rounds in a war zone. But I keep coming back because she is SO good for me and always makes sense even if I hate what she wants me to confront.

I have been in and out of therapy for 16 years now and alot has changed for me. I am back to being unwell again but okay with it. Try not to give up on your therapist. If you feel this strongly about your relationship with this person you should explore your feelings with this person. Take the risk. Its worth it.