I wasn't allowed to cry when I was little. My father found it offensive or a sign or weakness for some reason. I still don't know why. Anyway, we would get punished or hit if we cried. As an adult I don't cry in front of anyone. It took me a long time to be able to cry in front of T, I still tell him to turn around when I do, even though he never does. When I cry there I only let out a few tears, dn't even need a tissue. I have never blown my nose there or sobbed. I think it's a normal response for those of us who were abused/have trust issues/can't tolerate feelings. Keep talking and it will come with time.