Quote:
Originally Posted by multipixie9
dear mc,
i think what is going on is that you have parts with lots of pain and anger who want to be heard and not ignored and maybe they scare you. maybe you think you will be really rejected if you let them loose to talk about their life and feelings. - i'm just guessing because it was that way with me and the longer i held them back the more upset they got with me because they wanted me to let them have their voice and tell their story. i still wish someone would just sit there and listen to all of them and all the feelings and rage and pain inside so we could let it all out and figure out how to get beyond it before we explode into millions of pieces. and we are not sure anyone ever will pay any attention like that.
although to be fair, my T does listen and she's the one who had to keep urging me to stop holding back and to let them out to be heard. i'm 3 weeks past my last T visit due to the holidays and i am about to explode, crash and burn. argh!!!!
sorry, this was supposed to be about you, not me/us. =(
leslie and pixies
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Please don't feel that this post was just about me if you could let some feeling out too
!!! I so appeciate the fact that you could help me to not feel alone!! Thank you
....I do feel that your right on the button with how we feel inside with anger the feeling that "me" the strongest front person will feel this vulnerability of rejection humility allowing "other's" to allow the deepest painful secerets to come out that not even I am aware of...The just being heard part is a huge thing...It's a huge step and I know they need to be heard I know it's a part of healing I just don't know what that part of being heard is goning to reveal and as I said and thank you Sannah for the hugz that scares not only "me" but others too a great deal...
It's a mess inside right now..Today so major lapses into a place that I have protected us for quite sometime now and I failed us today...I couldn't keep us the pain and stress had to be relieved and even I couldn't stop what needed to happen
As strong as the "me" is I am only capabale as the "me" can be and with so much going on inside and outside the body it's a wonder I can manage at times...However I am trying to just think for once what an incredible gift that I have..The ability to have a poweful mind to survived even the things that I have been protected from that were so severe that my mind saved us all to be here today that is truly amazing...The fact that I thought all people lived this way with all this commotion and thought process and people staring out there eye's in there heads on a daily basis was normal dosen't change that it is normal form me and dosen't make me ill it makes me unique...That I am going to keep as part of me to make it a better way to cope..It wont take away the pain but maybe that will better enable me to deal with the flashbacks and the pain of the memorys that are trying to flood the mind and body huh? Thanks for all of you who are just being here I know I am not really together but kinda here and there but it's been truly helping me to know that your listening...
MC